A letter from mommy

To my beautiful miracle babies on your birthday:

This time last year I didn't know if we would ever see this day. This time last year I was too paralyzed by fear to celebrate you. I didn't know if you would both make it and if so what your lives would be like. You have taught me more in one short year than most people ever learn in a lifetime. I wish more than anything that those harsh lessons didn't come at the cost of your first few years being anything but peaceful, happy and celebratory. I live to make your lives easier and my mission on this earth is to make all of this disappear one day. If you have no recollection of your challenging beginnings then daddy and I have fulfilled our job as your parents.

Cameron, my little diva: I will never ever take for granted when you "look at mommy" and you really see me. Your vision is a gift that we fought so very hard for but your strength and motivation to learn is something no one but you can take credit for. You have more energy than the rest of the family combined... You get your hyperactivity from dad but your ability to focus on goals from mommy. Your belly laughs are all I need when I'm just having one of those days when nothing else cheers me up. You are my rock and my best bud. You are AMAZING!

Brody, my intuitive little smarty pants: you are the definition of STRENGTH. When the adults had little steam left you fought for your life over and over and over again. You are sooo wise
beyond your one year. The way you look deep into my soul reminds me that it will all be okay even when things have seemed like they can get no worse. You have taken us all on quite a journey this year and there were times that we didn't know how it would end. I know that we
still have a very long way to go but have more confidence every day that only remains of these memories are some cool scars you wear as badges of honor. You are my heart.

I beg, pray, barter every minute of every day for the continued chance to give you the same lives I had always pictured for my children well before your early arrival. The only thing I know that is certain in this world is that you are the most loved and adored children that ever existed. You are very very very special little men who have already made such a huge impact on so many people without even knowing. I am positive that that you will continue to make extraordinary accomplishments in your lives.

I never knew love like this until the day you were born. You are my everything.

Mommy

Our Early Bird Special Day

What a perfect day. More to come but tons of pics for now...

Morning birthday nap with daddy


Brothers playing


I'm confused


Hiieee


Professor Poopypants


Smooches


A lipper


Ok I'll eat it if you do that funny dance dad


Snuggle time


Brodys fave thumb sucking hold


Thinking man


Pretty little cake


Fire!



Sugar!


I'm really allowed to do this???


Let's get diiirty!


Finger licking good


Handsome boy behind the specs


Bath time!


Ugh


Brodys turn


Much cleaner go at it


Whoa. What. Is. That?


I love u man!



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Everyones sleeping... Except me of course


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Strong man

Little monkey wearing his monkey pjs after surgery. He did great and is home snug as a bug.

Yay for a hospital visit without an unexpected extended eventful stay!! Go Brody and your chubby healthy self. Couldn't be prouder.



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Wrote this Friday

Brody is in the OR right now. It's always nerve wrecking having one of the boys in surgery but elective is so very different than the emergency scenarios we have been faced with in the past. We were just looking at pictures on our phones and reflecting on this past year. While at times it felt like the worst nightmare we ever could imagine... Seeing how far Brody and Cameron have come reminds us how truly lucky we are to have our babies and eachother.

Big stretch!





Napping in the bop












Cams favorite part of his drs appt... The paper

















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Last Friday, this Friday and some stuff in the middle

On Friday we called 9-1-1 in panic and fear as Brodys vents were both malfunctioning (later we realized due to a common error made when hooking up the tubing that I am responsible for doing every week. When we felt like he wasn't properly ventilating we decided in an emergency to do a trach change. When trying to put a new one in to the stoma in his throat my nurse and I could not get it in and he started bleeding a lot from his airway. There was so much blood that we were scared that we hit an artery and that he was breathing the blood back down into his lungs. Another traumatizing image I will never ever forget. We were very fortunate at with oxygen he was able to breathe through his mouth and nose all of the way ton the hospital.

He is doing great now and will hopefully be transitioning ton only oxygen during the day without the extra pressures of his vent... Sure would be nice to have less to carry around, pop off, and maintain. I just want to be able to walk more than 2 feet with my baby without dragging an IV pole of equipment behind me.

This Friday Brody will be having tubes placed in his ears in the OR and some scar tissue cauterized out of his throat. We are hoping he will be home same day.

The anniversary of the boys birth is this Sunday or as we are calling it "Early Bird Special Day". It is officially their birthday but it's going to be a few years yet before we can emotionally bridge the gap between their actual age and their corrected age. It's been a rough month thinking about where we were a year ago at this time. Of course we can't do anything public or with anyone more than immediate family due to the state of theirnimmune systems but one day there is going to be the biggest birthday bash any kid has ever seen! Regardless we are so lucky to have both of our sons here smiling at us every morning and amazing us every minute.

Cams big day of looking at the world differently

Sleeping in my new glasses!


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Where to begin

Lots to report on but it takes emotional focus and clarity to explain what our lives have been like and I just have not had it in me to give an update that could possibly explain. The boys are good now but we had another scare on Friday

Here's some happy pics in the meantime...

Cameron trying on some frames... He got these but in black! They should be in any day and look awesome with his hawk!

Winter wardrobe is in! Trying on our new hats!





What it's like giving Cameron a breathing treatment... He likes to stick his tongue in the tube


Trippy


I win!


My bib fits just fine. Stop laughing at me!


Oops!!

Bath time


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I've never known exhaustion like this!

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Aunt Kims photo shoot

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